The Story of My Mugging, or The Case of the Chunky Man and the Blue Handbag

Here are the facts of the case: It was around 9:00 at night. Jessi and I were walking on Avenida Balboa, a major street in one of the safest areas of Panama City. We were about ten blocks away from my apartment, and who knows why, but I took my keys out of my bag and held them in my hand. Thirty seconds later, I'm screaming like a crazy person, because some unknown man has grabbed me by the neck, with something pressed against my back. I think it's just his hand, but I'm not sure. It could be some kind of weapon. He tells me in my ear to stop screaming, give him my purse, and keep moving. So that's exactly what I do. Jessi and I walk another half block, before running across the multi-lane road to find the police. We were at police headquarters until midnight, so I could make my official statement.

You might be thinking, "Wow, she really did pick an appropriate name for her blog." It's occurred to me a few times this week too. And it's pretty true. I have defended my title as the disaster with a passport. (And thankfully I do still have my passport, since it was in my apartment at the time of the attack.) But the bad things that happen in life also bring out my inner Pollyanna (albeit a slightly sarcastic Pollyanna who uses colorful language). So here are some of the upsides of being mugged:

1. I get to replace the ugliest driver's license picture ever, which I otherwise would have been forced to keep for the next 10 years.
2. I have a completely valid excuse to go purse shopping when I get home.
3. I will save a ton of money, since I have limited access to funds right now.
4. The rental company offered me an enormous new apartment at the same price, because the Embassy recommended that I move.
5. It's a great excuse to a lot of dessert for a few days.

And the event itself could have been worse. Here are some positives on that note:
1. Neither Jessi or I was hurt in the attack.
2. I already had my apartment keys in my hand when I got robbed, so I was still able to get into my apartment that night.
3. I had an emergency credit card and my passport back at the apartment, so they weren't taken.

So yes, I had a bit of bad luck this week, but overall I've got it pretty good. The outpouring of concern and offers of help I've received from my wonderful friends and family this week have really meant a lot. My coworkers, who I only met a few weeks ago, have been amazingly helpful. And of course, I owe a debt of gratitude to Jessi, who made this week so much better after our terrifying experience. (She's also my sugar mama for the next couple of weeks, so that I can survive until my new debit card can get here.) I've really lucked out with the people in my life.

Today I was making copies of all the pages in my passport, since it's now the only form of ID I have here. And as I was going through it, I realized just how much traveling I've done in my life. There are 48 stamps in my passport. I seen places that lots of people only dream about going. I have had some incredible opportunities. Doing all that means that sometimes things won't go according to plan. Bad things will happen from time to time. But I can handle that, because I'm a tough cookie. Like an oatmeal raisin cookie. With hammers in it. And I'd say that's pretty damn lucky too.

But just in case this post is getting a bit too sap-tastic, let me also say that I still think the mugger is an assbag, and he can go shit frogs for all I care. [Insert cheeky smiley face here.] Have a wonderful mugger-free weekend everyone!