I Should Have Taken Spanglish

We've all had the teachers who were absolute purists about language. The English teacher who laid eggs every time you confused "may I" and "can I." The French teacher whose face would blanch as she yelled, "Pas de franglais!" And the Spanish teacher who insisted that Spanglish was the ugly, bastard child of the most beautiful language in the world. Over time those ideas rub off on us. OK, maybe just me. When people use "itch" and "scratch" interchangeably, I want to kick them in the shins (not hard, but you get the point). When people won't at least attempt proper pronunciation when speaking French, my teeth grate. And I totally think Spanish is the most beautiful language in the world. It is, after all, my first nerd-tastic love.

Outside the bubble of academia, it doesn't take long to realize that the real world loves hybrids. The Puggle. The Prius. And yes, Spanglish. When I volunteered as a teenager to tutor ESL for elementary school kids, they had a great time making fun of my Spanish: "Nobody says 'tarea.' It's 'un homework.'" In about five minutes, I knew there was something impractical about my vocabulary. It took me a lot longer to understand that relentless mockery was actually a sign of affection. When I traveled in Spain, my friend's family told me it was cute that I said "los boletos" instead of "los tickets." I wasn't sure cute was what I was shooting for in that particular context. And now that I'm in Panama, I'm once again left wishing that I'd taken Spanglish classes somewhere along the way.

I can speak Spanish. I can speak English. But when forced to try and switch between the two: verbal potpourri. If you ever saw the movie Princess Caribou when you were little, that's a bit what I sound like when two languages are trying to leave my mouth at the same time. Unfortunately, at my office, Spanglish is the working language. People far more talented than I are able to alternate paragraphs, sentences, and words, seamlessly moving from one language to the other. I, on the hand, sound like a stroke victim.

To give an example of some typical office Spanglish:
"Estas cifras no son updated, así que tenemos que buscar otras."
"Entonces tenemos cuatro secciones: el strategic planning, el research, los parternships, y los resultados."
"No sé si eso es exactamente lo que necesitamos, pero a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

Thankfully, all is not lost. Someone told me today that I don't have much of an accent when I speak, and since the challenge is speaking and not understanding, it's not a hinderance to my work. I'm just hoping that over the course of three months, my Spanglish will be as good as my Spanish.

Pero ahora tengo que comer, porque I'm so hungry I could eat a bear.

NOTE: Since the first paragraph of this post could imply that I had stuffy, pompous instructors, I want to clarify that I actually had ridiculously awesome high school Spanish teachers. I used to say back then that the reason I went to school every day was so I could go to Spanish class. The point is not lost on me that without them, I might never have had the opportunity to come here. Or get my last internship in high school. Or get my first job out of college. And in all probability, my first job out of grad school. Man, I hope they don't come to claim my firstborn child or something.